coming up on 2 years since my transplant - i know how fortunate i am
and so thankful for winning this lottery ticket

with that being said
im a fucking wreck
i have the bk virus so i will lose this kidney sooner than later
this is my 3rd
the idea of it all over again - well it's a bit much for me right now

this disease was not supposed to win
i always felt i had an agreement with my body & my mind
we'd do this together no matter what
but unfortunately my mind has packed it's bags and heading for calmer waters
who can blame it?